Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
no, he came in my armpit
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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