You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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