Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
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