do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
