I think I died a long time ago.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
