it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize