8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
