Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
They took my balls.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
