TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
