I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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