For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize
