addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
