let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
He better not be in your backpack
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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