Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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