guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
