It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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