he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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