So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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