mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
