ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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