We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
