there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
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