I wanna passion pit in your ass
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
3pm strippers are depressing
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
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