careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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