Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
