Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
