was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
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