dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
