At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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