She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
