We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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