38 yer olds are good kisserssss
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
