Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
How external is "for external use only"?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
