just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
