Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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