I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
i think im in europe. pls send help
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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