Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Randomize
