I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
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