when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize
