Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Found the puke drawer
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Congratulations! We have a period
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