I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
