I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
not ubering you a puppy
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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