we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
