What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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