Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
