so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
