last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
