I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i just made my gag reflex go away.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Randomize