Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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