I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
where does the pee come out of this thing
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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