I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
