Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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