What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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