this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
