So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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