sorry about calling you the devil all night.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Randomize
