Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize