Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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