At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
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