Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize
