I don't think brook has ever known best
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Randomize
