Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
