Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
