You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
