im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
