Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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