the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
