she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Randomize
