the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
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