you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
