So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
