due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
