Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
