Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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