Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
