I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
