you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
