Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
